When "Normal" Isn't What You Want to Hear
"Normal." A word that has many meanings to many people. I've heard the word "normal" countless times, but I wasn't happy to hear it. As I sit here, I deal with my "normal" health that includes muscle weakness, cramps, tremors, brain fog, memory loss, abdominal pain, fatigue, and dizziness. Just yesterday I took a trip to the doctor to hear the word I have come to expect, "normal." The only problem is a 20 something year old woman shouldn't have pain like I had when I went in to get checked out. I know what is going on in my body is anything but normal, but for some reason, that's all I hear when I go to the doctor. "We're sorry, but everything is normal." I think that's what so frustrating about knowing that something is wrong, and even if you get a diagnosis, not being able to find a cure for what's going on. Or one day, you think you have it figured out, only for some new weird symptom to pop up that requires a day at the doctor and a lot of tests and money to hear the word "normal." You hit your google search as a last resort to try to diagnose and treat yourself in an effort to be what is truly "normal."
I'm not saying any of this because I'm bitter or because I think doctors are useless. I have a nursing degree and have practiced as a nurse, and I know that sometimes there just isn't an answer, and I know from experience I hurt for the patient when I can't help them. I'm writing this because I know that there are so many of us out there that long for true normalcy. We just want to be able to wake up and not be tired out from going to the grocery store for an hour. We just want to be able to go to the church outing with the other ladies our age and not have to cancel last minute because we have severe GI upset that day. We just want to be able to be like other people our age and have that seemingly never-ending energy that seems to elude us. Many times, we just want to be able to have a career, or start a family, or be able to take care of the family we have the way others are able to. We can't help but fall into the comparison game when we see everyone else living a life that we feel like we can only live half as much as everybody else.
I'm writing this because I know you don't want any more advice. I'm writing this because you are a warrior. I'm writing this because I know you're tired of being a warrior. I'm writing this because I know. You don't have to apologize for not wanting to hear the word "normal" because I know and you know that whatever is going on in our bodies is not normal. I'm writing this because God knows. I know you know Jeremiah 29:11, but I want you to read it, really read it, and read it out loud.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Yes, you have a future and a hope, you! Not just the people you're comparing yourself to. God has a plan for you right now in this moment and for your future. Even if you are never healed, God has a plan for you. You, friend, you! And that doesn't mean wearing yourself out by signing up for every ministry or non-profit organization to volunteer time. It means the situation you are in has a purpose to glorify God, and that plan may be one that has you never even leaving the house, and that plan glorifies God when we fulfill it. It is not less of a plan, or even a plan B, it is the plan that the Lord made for you when He created you, and it is your part in God's work in your life to impact others.
I want you to know that the Lord knows, I know, others around you know- and we are here and our lives, warts and all, are there for God's plans. When I get discouraged, I remember that God knows, that He cares, that He will carry my load, that He will be my friend, that He loves me more than anyone or anything. I encourage you to keep your eyes on Him alone and let Him work out His glorious plan for your life that is anything but "normal," but truly extraordinary.
Psalm 42:11 "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God."
I'm not saying any of this because I'm bitter or because I think doctors are useless. I have a nursing degree and have practiced as a nurse, and I know that sometimes there just isn't an answer, and I know from experience I hurt for the patient when I can't help them. I'm writing this because I know that there are so many of us out there that long for true normalcy. We just want to be able to wake up and not be tired out from going to the grocery store for an hour. We just want to be able to go to the church outing with the other ladies our age and not have to cancel last minute because we have severe GI upset that day. We just want to be able to be like other people our age and have that seemingly never-ending energy that seems to elude us. Many times, we just want to be able to have a career, or start a family, or be able to take care of the family we have the way others are able to. We can't help but fall into the comparison game when we see everyone else living a life that we feel like we can only live half as much as everybody else.
I'm writing this because I know you don't want any more advice. I'm writing this because you are a warrior. I'm writing this because I know you're tired of being a warrior. I'm writing this because I know. You don't have to apologize for not wanting to hear the word "normal" because I know and you know that whatever is going on in our bodies is not normal. I'm writing this because God knows. I know you know Jeremiah 29:11, but I want you to read it, really read it, and read it out loud.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Yes, you have a future and a hope, you! Not just the people you're comparing yourself to. God has a plan for you right now in this moment and for your future. Even if you are never healed, God has a plan for you. You, friend, you! And that doesn't mean wearing yourself out by signing up for every ministry or non-profit organization to volunteer time. It means the situation you are in has a purpose to glorify God, and that plan may be one that has you never even leaving the house, and that plan glorifies God when we fulfill it. It is not less of a plan, or even a plan B, it is the plan that the Lord made for you when He created you, and it is your part in God's work in your life to impact others.
I want you to know that the Lord knows, I know, others around you know- and we are here and our lives, warts and all, are there for God's plans. When I get discouraged, I remember that God knows, that He cares, that He will carry my load, that He will be my friend, that He loves me more than anyone or anything. I encourage you to keep your eyes on Him alone and let Him work out His glorious plan for your life that is anything but "normal," but truly extraordinary.
Psalm 42:11 "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God."
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